Missing Fact about Marriage


“This thing called marriage is really killing me. If only I knew, I would have considered marriage twice, talk more of being a mother. I can’t imagine the stress I go through daily since I became a mother. It’s as though I hardly can do anything meaningful for myself, talk more of spending time in prayer.” These were the words of a friend to me who got married about three years ago. She was a fire brand sister so to speak in her single days. She was everywhere at every instance fellowshipping with God and teaching others to do so. She falls into the category of ladies whom one would say that: with her ability to organise things, she is really a good wife and mother material as she was a hard-working young lady then. So, what happened?

She missed out on the fact that marriage entails more responsibilities and it takes being in tune with God always to perform such responsibilities without being frustrated. It’s rather unfortunate how many assume that because one has a born again and tongue speaking fiancé/fiancée, being intimate with God will be a lot easier when such a fellow gets married. However, it doesn’t work that way. In marriage there can be too much of everything which is able to bring you to a point where you can’t sense God’s presence, talk less of spending time with him.

You have to be up early not minding when you go to bed: to first care for the little one, then prepare meal for your husband, do house chores, etc, such that you struggle to fellowship with God and even when you do, you sometimes sleep off in the process. Well, I have this to say to you: God knows what marriage entails and that is why He will place priority on the little time you have (while in the kitchen, bathing the kids, washing the dishes or doing your laundry) to talk to Him. He is interested in that heart-to-heart connection where you are still and can be able to know He is God with you, the very reason His Word says “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalms 46:10). Friend, the best time to cultivate this habit of keeping constant touch with God is now.

Can I say to you that marriage is not designed to be killing or frustrating but you can make it so, if you fail to stay connected to God in this uncertain time that everything seems not to be working as fear is taking over the heart of all, coupled with the economic situation of the world. There is just one way out ‘seek Him when He can be found’. You will need to come to terms with God on the union between a man and a woman. You must know that no one is fully prepared for marriage because each marriage has its own definition, rather everyone grows in it. This is why you must maximise your time of engaging your hands in activities to also engage God in your heart; worship, pray and keep asking for grace for the next stage of your life. This is also applicable to those who are on their way to saying “I do.”

Maximise seasons when you have a whole lot of time to yourself to be with God: praying, studying and meditating on the future God has for you. Spend time speaking forth peace, joy, healing, strength and all you desire to be in God in the now and the future to come. To you my dear, young in marriage friends, you are never alone in the marriage as long as you stop feeling so. God who instituted marriage is with you, only ensure to engage Him in the affairs of your home, your children, spouse and everything that you wish to discuss with Him this season much more than before. Spend time to bond with God’s Spirit while mastering the act of God minded multi-tasking. In other words, engage God with your mind every time you have the opportunity to do so. This will not only make having a balanced life in marriage easier for you but will also help you develop good sensitivity to God in your still state.

Bond with the Person of the Holy Spirit: listening to lifting messages, worshipping and praying in the spirit, reading Christian literatures, etc. Keep the connection such that He can show you things to come, give you strength for the days ahead, guide you into living an excellent and balanced family life. I encourage you to give God more than the usual ‘one minute’ that you used to spend talking to Him daily, ensure to maintain intimacy with Him. Make it a point of duty to draw strength from God more than from yourself this period, because you will always need Him!

God bless you.

Further reading

“Woman to Woman” by Joyce Meyer

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