Tall people make jest of short people forgetting that they had nothing to do with their height. I choose to refer to it as ‘Genetic lottery’ like a popular comedian in Nigeria calls it. To be a boy is by birth, to be a man is not easy, or so they say. To be a man indeed is really loaded work that can’t be done without knowledge. Well, some things come by chance, fatherhood isn’t one of them or should we say, fatherhood shouldn’t be one of them. Several people grow up to grab some ideas from their environments, culture, religion, peers and their own minds. Well, many of those ideas turn out to be bad. Unfortunately, many people fail to identify the inaccurate ideas.
Several young men are raised to believe that the females around them are lesser and by default are to serve them. Several young men see their ‘daddies’ holding remote controls and newspapers in the living room while mummy works all day long into the night. In fact, in some instances, it is weakness for a male child to do household chores. You’d hear a young man saying that he needs to marry a good lady who will always pray for him – how inaccurate. I remember my dad telling me that one of the reasons he avoided adultery was that he couldn’t afford to have a child he would not be available to raise – never leave a child to his mother to raise by herself.
Some children would even disobey their mothers at will and obey their fathers, not because of any special effect but probably due to the mantle of fatherhood.

Mr. Patrick always worked hard to get funds for his family’s upkeep. He wanted to be a business man trading in machineries but he couldn’t get that because he couldn’t get the funds for it. He initially wanted to study business administration for his tertiary education but he could only secure admission into a tertiary institution that doesn’t offer the course. He also didn’t have anyone he could fall back to for help or finances as his parents were poor and unconnected.
Once he is done at work, he would go to a tavern with friends to have some nice time after a hard day’s job…except for when he wasn’t feeling too good. He almost always came home to eat and go to bed. His children were mostly asleep before he came in. His wife gave up wishing he would spend more time with her. His major complaint was that he was working hard to get his children what he couldn’t get.

My Dad said he was wrong. He says that many women value the quality time you spend with them over all the money you may provide. He says they also appreciate you touching them randomly even when outside the house. They also value the assistance you can give with some stressful or time consuming chores while also letting them know that you are with them in love by your words – money won’t do those. One major job description of a father is the time spent with his children to teach them about life and God. There are time frames a man must never miss in his children’s lives. It is the reason many children stick to their mothers and forsake their fathers. ‘For I know him that he will teach his children and his household after him and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which HE has spoken of him.

Many women go from pillar to post and mountain to valley praying and fasting. Well, as much as prayers are needed, it isn’t always the right thing for the mothers to do. Many look for miracles when they should search for know-how. God is not the slave we just call to do stuffs for us. It is the reason many prayers won’t be answered. Well, a quick one; there was this priest who would go into the holy of holies to pray to God on behalf of his family, tribe, town, state and country. God always responded to him and would send him back to his people which meant that he was a prophet to them. Anytime a child was born, he got a name for the child as God spoke to him. His wife only prayed little and asked her husband about situations – the man was a man indeed.

Daddy told me that I needed to learn how to be a father indeed. He says a real man must be both a priest and a prophet. A priest went to God on behalf of his people; a prophet speaks to his family on behalf of God. A real man never abdicates his responsibilities to his wife. HE says that a man shall be a hiding place from the wind and a shelter from the storm, like streams of water in a dry place, like the shade of a great rock in a weary land. Every situation where the woman works tirelessly to cover the family or prays excessively for the family or hears God for the family is not ideal. Someone must have failed God severally for HIM to move on to the ’weaker vessel’.

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